The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. . . Dates That Is.

In my previous post, I talked about how to go about asking a someone on a date.  So in this post I am going to talk about good vs bad dates, and some common sense dating behaviors.

Good Date Vs. Bad date

Locations: 

I have gotten mixed reviews when I have asked people about where are good/bad places to go on dated but here are some things that most people can agree on.

1. Gifts.  I do not know when bringing a gift to the person that you are going out with went out of fashion, but I am here to bring it back.  I am not saying that you have to bring me flowers every time we go on a date.  But bringing a girl her favorite candy, or a CD that you made of songs you love (so that she can get to know you) or songs she loves (to prove that you know her) can go a long way.  These are all inexpensive ways to show a girl that you are putting forth effort and are interested in her, and would like to see her happy.  I once had a guy pick me up for a date, and he brought me a book of short stories that were written by female authors that had previously been unpublished.  It meant a lot to me that he remembered that I love to read and was a women’s studies major.  Some of the stories were actually really good and became some of my favorites.  He probably spent $5 on the book, but it meant so much.
2. Coffee is idiot proof.  An afternoon coffee date is harmless and a good place to get to know the other person.  If you can plan the date so that should it go well it leads up to an evening activity-dinner, concert, etc- you get brownie points for being thoughtful and taking the time to plan.
3. Movies are bad.  Even though dinner and a movie is a dating staple, most of the people that I talked to agreed that it makes for a bad first date and should only be suggested once you are dating regularly.  The reasoning behind this is that A) it is completely unoriginal and requires no thought and B) movies are loud, dark and you are surrounded by people so you will not get to spend time getting to know the other person which is the point of a first date.  Some alternatives to movies: plays/concerts.  Although they are also loud and you won’t get to talk much, if planned properly, they show a lot about your personality and can lead to a good time.  Another fun date is a local drive-in.  This is not such a great idea for a first time because it will probably involve time spent driving, but it is a great idea for a night out after you have been dating for a while.
4. Drinks are bad for a multitude of reasons.  One reason is that once again, this is the most unoriginal thing I have ever heard of.  Second reason that this idea stinks is that alcohol is involved, and alcohol should be kept to a minimum on a first date.  If you are thinking about asking a girl to go for a drink, there are a few ways that you can make things a little more creative. 1) Find a really unusual bar.  Go to an Irish pub or look online and see what some of the trendy bars in your area are.  2) Find out if she is a sports fan, and if her sport is in season.  If it is, make a date with her to watch a game and a fun sports bar.  3) If she is a wine person, go somewhere with a trendy wine tasting.  4) Something that a lot of people don’t think of, are special events that bars have.  Bar tending competitions, trivia nights, etc are all things that are similar to “going for drinks” but do not involve you sitting at a bar and staring at each other while getting wasted into oblivion.  Please remember ladies and gentlemen to use the Millionaire Matchmaker date alcohol consumption guidelines, no MORE than 2 drinks on a first date.
5. Picnics are the best dates ever, and they are cheap.  Every town in the US has a park of some kind, take advantage of them.  If you can’t cook, order take out or visit your local Fresh Market and pick out some of their yummy pre-prepared meals. Pack a blanket, lunch, a frisbee, some way to play music, and have a great afternoon.  
6. Dancing.  You cannot go wrong with going to a bar that has live music and dancing to 80’s cover songs.  In Nashville, my favorite is The Stage. They always have live music, and it is always a fun light atmosphere.  It is a great laid back date that will not only allow you to get to know your date, but you can laugh at yourself as well. 
7. The zoo/aquarium.  Seems childish but its a great outdoor spring/summer date.  Not only do you get to walk around and get some exercise, you will get to learn about each other and possibly learn something new.  If you really want to impress the other person, you can all ahead and plan a tour.  Almost all establishments do this and it is a really fun experience.
8. Beerpong is not a date.  I had to include this because it happened to me recently.   I got invited on a FIRST date to go play beerpong at one of his buddy’s  house.  Not only were all of the men drunk, but my best friend (who I dragged along as a safety net poor thing) and I were the only girls there.  Gentlemen, beer pong is a fun American past time, but it is not acceptable for a first date under any circumstances.

Bad Dating Behaviors:

These are some things that will ensure that you will not getting a 2nd date.  So if you want to see the person again, avoid them at all cost; but if you realize mid date that your date is crazy, whip them out and watch them work.

1. Talking about people of the opposite sex/flirting.  Okay, this really shouldn’t have to be said, but sadly I am here saying it.  If you are on a date, commenting on the waitresses breasts, the bartender’s abs, or attempting to pick up the bass player in the band is not appropriate.  I once was at a bar with a friend and his boyfriend, we went to the bathroom and returned to find said boyfriend snuggled up with another guy. NOT OKAY.
2. Getting wasted.  If I have to carry you out of the bar, drive you home, or clean up after you throwing up; I will never want to see you again. Period. 
3. Clinger McCreeperson.  Being a Clinger on a date is not okay.  Do not physically attach yourself to your date.  Not only is it not attractive, its annoying.  If I cannot move without tripping over you, not only will I never want to see you again, I may resort to drastic measure to get away from you while still on the date.  We have begun to refer to this date as "clinger 9000"
4. Leaving me with a huge tab. I once went to see a local band play at a bar.  My friend was the waitress and there was a huge group of us at the table, my date and I got into an argument and he left.  When he left, he proceeded to leave me with an $80 tab.  So not only did I have to pay MY tab, I had to cover HIS as well.  
5. Talking about nothing but yourself, this goes for either sex.  I once went on a date with a guy that I had met because he was my waiter - CLUE #1.  We went to a concert to see one of my favorite bands, so I thought this was going to be a great night.  WRONG.  It was 7 hours of nothing but him talking about himself.  It was the longest night of my life.  It was at the Riverfront in Nashville, and at one point I was so desperate to get away from him that I tried to figure out how far I would have to swim to get home if I jumped off the pedestrian bridge downtown.  Do not let this happen to you, if you get the feeling that you are talking to much you probably are so ask your date a question.  If you can’t think of a question to ask, think outside the box. 
1. favorite book/movie/Tv show as a child
2. favorite food/drink/dessert/candy
3. farthest place you have ever traveled/favorite place to travel
4. pets: have any/want any/favorite

I hope this post has been helpful, and like always I look forward to receiving your feedback.  So put on your sexy shoes ladies and go round up a man.


<3 to my readers,
Brandy